(A beautiful peice by my friend Adish sharing his words on how few BlissfulBonds changed his life for good)
Does time really matter in a friendship?
Well, the answer can go both ways.
On one hand you can just click with someone and in a matter of time you have a friend that can last a lifetime.
On the other hand, it takes time, for example 18 months, to create a friendship from scratch, form a bond with someone, understand someone and get attached to someone so much that a little change in their mood can just fuck things up for you.
A friend for lifetime. It is an easy thing to say as much as it is difficult to maintain. You can have 50 friends in one year, but the real task is to maintain that one or two friends that stays for 50 years.
When you really click with someone you feel like they’ll stay forever. That the person will stay with you in your high and your lows no matter what will happen.
And that’s when the difficult part starts. Your expectations begin to crumble when you see that the person can change, that the bond you share changes and suddenly things don’t seem so bright. The change sometime is so sudden that you cannot just adjust to it and the relationship can get scarred easily.
There’s a fine line between a friend and a best friend. That line is the thing that matters. It’s like this, you can do whatever you want for a person but it is impossible to create a bond with someone. But sometimes the other person has other expectations from friends and it doesn’t really matter whatever you do for them.
But, a big fat but, what a miracle it is when you really click with someone in reality and all the expectations you have from a friend are just satisfied. What a feeling that is to know that you always have someone to get you back on your feet when you’ve fallen down hard. It seems just suddenly you have someone who is ready to listen to all your problems and help you through it.
With such person, infinity is the limit. You just cannot resist yourself from sharing all the little information about you, your life. You are just fearless to share anything without being judged. They can help you to bring out the real you. And that real you really helps to strengthen the bond with the person. Play pretend can help you make friends but are those friends for lifetime? No, they are not.
While there are some friends that just stay with you, demands nothing, expects nothing and just give away all the help you need without any needs. One has not realised true friendship until he has shared something very deep with someone that you cannot share with your best friend too. You know who you are.
These kind of friends are a Blessing. They are God send. Because they will stay with you in toughest of the situations. And will support you no matter what.
The key factor here is to let such friendships grow and never let them go. To strengthen the friendship as much as possible with such people as they are the people who will stay with you for lifetime. And how to do that?
Appreciate every little thing they do for you. You may think it is a little thing but you may never know what it matters to someone. Appreciate the bond, the understanding. Don’t ever breach the trust that you’ve formed. For such friendships grow on the basis of this trust. A blind trust that people have docked on you. You’ve just got to believe in them, support them in tough times and celebrate with them in the best times.
(Dedicated to those two person in my life who has changed me for good. And changed my life for better. Who is my light in a dark road called friendship. Please never let me go)
-Adish Tolia. ❤